I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
