Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
