Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
