My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize