Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
