Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
The best revenge is premature balding
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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