Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
