I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
