I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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