We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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