Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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