Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Can I color on your dick again?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
