I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You took a bar mat shot.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
