Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
