he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
my liver is dry heaving
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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