who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
