I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
