It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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