Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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