I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize