$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
