I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize