three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
