i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
