and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
