1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
