Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I want to fling myself into the sun
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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