On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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