i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
