The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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