Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
