For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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