Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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