I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
