found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
