Can Purell be used as lube?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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