I just pynch a tree in the face
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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