but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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