his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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