So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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