Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
