i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
my shit smells like andre
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Randomize
