I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize