Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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