He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
