Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
