Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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