Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Dick very happy bro
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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