The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
