I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
