You made me cry and you don't even care
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
