I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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