I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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