the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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