We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
