well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
