I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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