Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
